Dear 12-year-old Lorna
I know you want a plastercast on your arm that you can get people to sign and doodle all over, but it really isn’t worth breaking any bones for. You may feel slightly short-changed now, but by the time you reach your forties (yes, really) your lack of broken bones feels like a major achievement.
I fully expect this next bit of advice to fall on deaf ears, but if you saved up your pocket money instead of blowing the lot on sweets every week you could start a business in your teens and become an entrepreneur. Not appealing enough, is it? Pity. You just can’t see past those brightly coloured sweetie wrappers, can you? Oh well, at least you’ll keep your dentist busy. You have lots of new fillings to look forward to, and the joy of a removable brace you’ll take out so often that it has little effect and your orthodontist gives you up as a bad job (you’ll regret that).
On the up side, you do eventually cut down on the sweets and even learn to enjoy tea without sugar (it’s not horrible, it’s heavenly). On the subject of tea, remember this: no situation you have to face is so bad it can’t be improved by a nice cup of tea. If there’s a biscuit or two to go with it, all the better. Eat as many scones as you can. This will prove to be a long-held and very rewarding hobby.