Posted in Friday letters, Humour, Writing

Friday letters – 18 March 2016

Inspired by Elaine’s wonderful Friday letters on her blog, I thought I’d pen a few of my own.

Dear wood pigeons, I apologise for the persecution you routinely face in our garden. If it were up to me you’d be welcome to peck up as much seed as you wanted from underneath the bird feeders, but alas one amongst our number is sizeist. My dear mama doesn’t care for anything bigger than a blackbird, unless it’s a crow (impressive problem solving skills), a pheasant (rare visitors with novelty value), or a thrush (rarity value and a lovely song).

Dear postie, I wonder if you realise how much joy you spread with your energetic delivery methods. Watching you leg it along the street, run up the driveway and vault over fences brings endless pleasure to us all.

Dear McVitie’s, Usually, when biscuits get smaller over time I’m disappointed by the shrinkage, but when it comes to Rich Teas you’ve done me a service. I remember in my youth having to nibble the edge off a Rich Tea in order to fit it into my mug. Today’s smaller circumference allows me to dunk an entire un-nibbled biscuit straight into my tea, which is far more satisfactory.

Dear weather, You were absolutely magnificent on Monday. Since then, you’ve gone back to your recent default setting of cold, grey and cloudy. Don’t let those gloom-mongering forecasters dictate to you. Whip out your golden rays and show them who’s boss.

Dear Elaine, Thank you for introducing me to Friday letters, I so much enjoy reading yours. 🙂 

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Author:

Carer to two delightful octogenarian parents.

13 thoughts on “Friday letters – 18 March 2016

  1. Loved this 🙂 We live down a long drive, but I’m pretty sure we don’t have such exciting posties as you do.

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    1. Thanks, Trish. Our postie runs marathons in his spare time so his job, which involves covering several miles a day on foot, provides him with practice for that. He’s the most cheerful postie I’ve ever come across, and no doubt the fittest.

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      1. Oh, that’s alright then 🙂 As joyous as you were, I had a private qualm that perhaps he was feeling unduly harried by a heavy workload, but if he’s having as much fun as you all are, then that’s dandy! 🙂

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    1. Thank you, Elaine, and thanks again for the inspiration. 🙂 I wonder if I’m making the error of assuming that Rich Tea Lights (which are the ones I eat now that dunk so nicely in a mug) are smaller than standard Rich Teas. I haven’t eaten a standard Rich Tea for a while so perhaps I ought to do a comparison. The Lights also seem to have far more staying power than standard Rich Teas did in my youth, in that they can survive being dunked without falling apart for a surprisingly long time. I think I feel a Rich Teas v Rich Tea Lights contest coming on.

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      1. I haven’t had a Rich Tea Light, so I don’t know if they have more staying power – I definitely think you should do some research. 🙂 Some time ago, on the TV, I saw an experiment to find the best ‘dunking’ biscuit, and Rich Tea came out far and away the best – miles ahead of the opposition. I suppose that was probably a regular Rich Tea.

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        1. That’s most interesting, I’d have liked to see that experiment. As part of his stand-up routine Peter Kay used to do a bit about the dunkability of different biscuits and, in his opinion, the Hobnob made mincemeat of the Rich Tea, which I never understood. In my world, Hobnobs start to disintegrate as soon as you dip them in. The bulk of the biscuit remains intact but little oaty bits start crumbling off into the tea, whereas the Rich Tea holds itself together admirably. More research obviously needs to be done, as you say.

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          1. That is absolutely wonderful, thank you for sending me the link. That research confirms all my suspicions, the Rich Tea is king of the dunkers.

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